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25-Nov-2017 10:44

(Girl coming out of a bar): "Hi, I think I am gonna be the last guy to ask for your phone number today". I hear you like Bolts, well let me teach you how to screw "You've stolen my heart away. Do you know the best way to stop back pain and lose 20 pounds? Is your dad a lumber jack because every time I look at you i get a wood in my pants.

" Is your name Betty Crocker, cause your always making me rise.

Cause you're hot and I want s'more We're not socks. I know you're busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list? Hey Baby, I just paid off this mustache, want to take it for a ride? The smile you gave me Gurl, I'd fake blindness just to touch you inappropriately. I laugh at things I'm attracted to, what about you? I'm like a firefighter I find them hot and leave them wet. I like your boooty arrrgh You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop. Roses are Red, Violets are blue, give me some head while I'm taking a poo. I don't mind a little ketchup on the hot dog as long as the bun is tight.

So we're friends now, when do the benefits kick in? I'm not staring at your boobs, I'm staring at your heart. (Aaaaachoooo.) Do you have a map, because I want to find my way into your pants. Hey Girl If you were a book then I wouldn't be able to read you, cause your print is so fine. cause' I wub wub wub you Just call me baby, cause I wanna be inside you for the next 9 months Hey since I lifted your spirits, how about you lift up your shirt. Girl your backside must be a cannon cause that ass is banging Do you like pirates? Yaharrrr You look much more attractive in person than you do through my telescope. Because that would be super." You don't want to have sex on your period?

Hey, my name's [insert your name here] and I can disappoint you in ways you've never imagined. Just say yes now and I won't have to spike your drink. You are young and fun-loving, that gives you 10 points.

If I were a tractor and you were a plow, I would definitely hook up with you. If I'm a pain in your ass, then we can just add more lubricant. How about I teach you about firefighting by letting you slide down my pole Nice pants, can I test the zipper?

"My name is Khan, please sit and entertain me." Nothing lasts forever...

"You know, sometimes it's nice flirting with your eyes accross the room for hours.

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Did I tell you I'm filthy rich and my mother's dead? People say I remind them of a cute teddy bear; I weigh 300 pounds, I'm really hairy, and I sleep all winter. Just because I buy my underwear in the extra-large equator size doesn't mean I'm overweight does it?

(make her look) I grew up during the sixties, with the peace and love generation. It's a good thing I wore my gloves today; otherwise, you'd be too hot to handle. Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?